A Lot On The Ol’ Plate

It just dawned on me that there’s a lot on my plate in the next 9 months — 5 weddings and a baby. My life sounds like a movie I wouldn’t watch.

I also was told (via text — very classy) that I’m the best man in my friend’s wedding in September.  This is the same guy who said, “Poor f-ing kid” when he found out that the wife was with child, so I’m pretty pumped to bring up hurtful and potentially annulment-worthy stories in front of his new bride and her family.  I kid, I kid.  I’m also a groomsman in my cousin’s wedding this spring, so the final tally is five weddings, member of two wedding parties and one pregnant wife.  Good news is that three of them are in Atlanta so no travel costs for papa Hunter.

We’re getting things started this Sunday with a Jewish wedding on MLK weekend.  Once we make it to the receiving line, I’ll be sure to tell the bride and groom how disrespectful to Dr. King I find the proceedings. Seriously though, I’m excited about this Sunday. If everything goes as planned, I’ll work my way in as one of the chair lifters for my buddy Ben and will be gladdening the bride in only five days. Mazel tov!

Should I Be Worried?

Quick thought for today — should I be worried that my wife keeps saying that black babies are cuter than white babies?  Any chance she’s trying to tell me something?  Hmmm….

We have another ultrasound scheduled for next week.  I’ll update here if there’s anything 9+ inches swinging on the screen.  Contact me at thenewfu@yahoo.com with any comments or questions.

A Very Tame New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve was very different for us than in previous years. No big party to attend, no going out to a bar, no craziness at all. I was a little worried that it would be a letdown for us — make no mistake, we are both very excited about the pregnancy, but we’re both still getting used to all of the lifestyle changes that are required of us — but it ended up being a fun night even though it was very calm. Two things stand out as funny moments though.

Weddings vs. Pregnancy

I’m writing this from our office and there are two pregnancy books within eyesight at this very moment.  If these things were cell phone towers let’s just say that you’d get great coverage in our house.  There’s one in every room, just in case.  When the wife and I got married I talked to anyone who would listen about how ridiculous and overpriced the wedding industry is, and anyone who has gotten married in the last 5-10 years will back me up.  You might as well drop trou and spread eagle the moment you hire a wedding photographer, band/DJ, florist or cake designer because you are about to get fucked.  They have a friendly way of doubling or tripling their normal rates when they find out you’re getting married.  Nice folks.

Yep, She’s Preggers…

The first thing a buddy of mine who lives out of town said when I told him that the wife was pregnant was, “Poor fucking kid.” Then he offered to move back to Atlanta to help raise the baby.